The Bill of No Rights

I loved it, and I hope you will too:

The following has apparently been attributed to State

Representative Mitchell Kaye from GA.

"We, the sensible people of the United States, in an
attempt to help everyone get along, restore some
semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our
nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the
blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our
great-great-great-grandchildren, hereby try one more
time to ordain and establish some common sense
guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt ridden,
delusional, and other liberal, bed-wetters.

We hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole
lot of people are confused by the Bill of Rights and
are so dim that they require a Bill of No Rights".

ARTICLE I: You do not have the right to a new car, big
screen TV or any other form of wealth. More power to
you if you can legally acquire them, but no one is
guaranteeing anything.

ARTICLE II: You do not have the right to never be
offended. This country is based on freedom, and that
means freedom for everyone -- not just you!
You may leave the room, turn the channel, express a
different opinion, etc., but the world is full of
idiots, and probably always will be.

ARTICLE III: You do not have the right to be free from
harm. If you stick a screwdriver in your eye, learn to
be more careful, do not expect the tool manufacturer
to make you and all your relatives independently wealthy.

ARTICLE IV: You do not have the right to free food and
housing. Americans are the most charitable people to
be found, and will gladly help anyone in need, but we are
quickly growing weary of subsidizing generation after
generation of professional couch potatoes who achieve
nothing more than the creation of another generation
of professional couch potatoes.

ARTICLE V: You do not have the right to free health
care. That would be nice, but from the looks of public
housing, we're just not interested in public health care.

ARTICLE VI: You do not have the right to physically
harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally
maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest
of us want to see you fry in the electric chair.

ARTICLE VII: You do not have the right to the
possessions of others. If you rob, cheat or coerce
away the goods or services of other citizens, don't be
surprised if the rest of us get together and lock you
away in a place where you still won't have the right
to a big screen color TV or a life of leisure.

ARTICLE VIII: You don't have the right to demand that
our children risk their lives in foreign wars to
soothe your aching conscience. We hate oppressive
governments and won't lift a finger to stop you from
going to fight if you'd like. However, we do not enjoy
parenting the entire world and do not want to spend so
much of our time battling each and every little tyrant
with a military uniform and a funny hat.

ARTICLE IX: You don't have the right to a job. All of
us sure want you to have a job, and will gladly help
you along in hard times, but we expect you to take
advantage of the opportunities of education and
vocational training laid before you to make yourself useful.

ARTICLE X: You do not have the right to happiness.
Being an American means that you have the right to
PURSUE happiness -- which by the way, is a lot easier
if you are unencumbered by an overabundance of idiotic
laws created by those of you who were confused by the
Bill of Rights,"

ARTICLE XI: This is an English speaking country.
We don't care where you are from, English is our language.
Learn it or go back, for good, to the hole you came from.

Think about it.

(h/t JT at the Beagle Express)