< link rel="DCTERMS.isreplacedby" href="http://caltechgirlsworld.mu.nu/" /> Not Exactly Rocket Science: Today of All Days....

Wednesday, March 16, 2005

Today of All Days....

Only two of you will understand the title, but oh well. Acidman posits this question:
Are men REALLY more comfortable being nekkid than wimmen are?
He then goes on to ask:
Guys horseplay nekkid, too--- you know--- pop somebody in the ass with a wet towel, go piss in the hot tub from OUTSIDE while somebody is IN it, smack a wad of Atomic Balm on somebody's bare balls and run off cackling... yeah.

I never did that ANY of that stuff, but some guys do. Wimmen DON'T. Do you?

And the comments of course got around to discussing that great American sport of fart-lighting.

So here's the story: this guy I knew in HS was famous among his peers for having a hairy posterior. He also liked to show off said posterior, so I can assure you that it was indeed MASSIVELY hairy. This person was also a master at breaking wind on command. I have never met another person who was so capable of emitting such noxiousness on command. Being the type of guy that I'm sure you can guess he was, he was also quite a braggart, especially when it came to his posterior.

One day in the locker room, the subject of fart lighting came up, and he decided to prove to the naive moron that asked that such a thing was possible. So he flicked his lighter, let one go, and proceed to burn:
1. all the hair off of the middle of his rear
2. all the paint off the side of the locker he was standing next to
3. singed the eyebrows of the dude holding the lighter

True story.


At Wednesday, March 16, 2005 7:41:00 PM, Blogger KG said...

I almost have to wonder if we went to the same high school.

I knew a guy who managed first degree burns, but he didn't peel any paint.

At Wednesday, March 16, 2005 7:49:00 PM, Blogger Ben said...

Of course, I am one of the two readers you mentioned that know of this story. I was unaware of the paint being peeled. Although I'm not suprised, since said person once succeeded in clearing out an entire classroom with one of his "weapons of mass destruction."

At Wednesday, March 16, 2005 8:45:00 PM, Blogger Melissa said...

That is the funniest thing I have read in a while.

At Wednesday, March 16, 2005 11:28:00 PM, Blogger Xrlq said...

You had me going there, I actually believed the story up until the very end where you said "true story." Surelu you know no one ever said "true story" after telling a story that was actually, um, true?!

P.S. Dudess, you have REALLY got to get off Blog*Splat. Commenting here is a huge pain in the (allegedly) hairy posterior.

At Thursday, March 17, 2005 1:48:00 AM, Blogger John Cunningham said...

I never lit up myself, but I do recall a fateful evening in 1964, on the 5th floor of Case Hall South at Michigan State. about 12 of us were gathered in a room for pyroflatulence, and the Blue Flame did shine forth. I also recall a stocky Italian guy from Long Island whose ass and legs were notably hairy. When he ignited, it burned a path of flame down the back of his thigh almost to the knee. The lamentations were loud.

At Thursday, March 17, 2005 7:30:00 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Altho I was not a witness, there was a report of pyroflatulance disaster circulating in Hillcrest Dormitory, U of iowa, 1971. The gentleman in question chose, conservatively, to not remove his smallclothes, and instead ignited them.

At Sunday, March 20, 2005 2:30:00 PM, Blogger Henry said...

XRLQ, she could start using haloscan, which is a LOT easier to use.

I'm just wondering how I can join the Bear Flag league


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